Change is the Constant

Since my last post, over a year and a half ago, much has changed, and life continues to present challenges and joys. I have moved barns twice since then and am now at a place that I love, Amethyst Equine Connections. The barn owner is a good friend and someone who supports my equine therapy work. The animals, including horses, minis, donkeys, alpacas, cows, chickens, bunnies, cats, and a dog, are all well cared for and regular co-therapists in my sessions. I have two “new” equine co-therapists, Carmel (who was actually my first equine partner when I started this work almost three years ago), and Snugs (Mr. Snuggles, a former show horse who needed a new career). They are both wonderful partners and I am enjoying getting to know them both—Carmel has been showing me more of her playful side and her desire to connect with me and others; and Snugs, who I am still getting to know, is a very sensitive, intuitive horse who is connecting well with some of my adult/young adult clients.

My office and virtual therapy work have been extremely busy over the past two years, for which I am grateful, and it also makes me wonder about the longer-term mental health effects of what we all have lived through over the past two years. With each wave of this pandemic, we have been asked to be flexible and adaptable, so that, at times, there does not seem to be much that is constant. For me, the constants have been connections with family, good friends, colleagues, animals, and nature/Mother Earth, they are what sustain me and bring me moments of happiness and calm. I feel blessed to have these connections in my life.

Friends

My mini, Bear, lived with four yearlings (Freezie, Sprinkles, Captain, and Pirate) for 6-8 months this past winter and spring. They got along well and often ran and played with each other (with Bear being the “fun uncle”). In May, the yearlings were moved out to pasture for the summer. When I was at the barn this past Friday, three of the four yearlings were there for the day to get their feet done by the farrier. Throughout the day, I heard Captain whinnying and calling a few times. Then when I was finishing my day, I happened to see Bear running and galloping back and forth along the fence in his pen. It was strange behavior for him so I went in to see him. I hung out with him for awhile, brushing and talking to him until I heard a horse whinnying and then Bear whinnied back. I realized that he knew that the yearlings were there, and he and Captain were calling to each other (even though they could not physically see each other in their respective pens). I took Bear out and we walked over to the pen where the yearlings were. Bear and the “babies” touched noses and nuzzled each other through the fence. They clearly knew and remembered each other, and appeared happy to be together again.

Visiting the horses

I went out to the barn tonight to visit my horses. I have been missing them so much. I used to be out there three times a week and now I have only been there three times in the past three weeks. It felt so good to walk down the lane, in between the pens, feeling the mud under my boots, smelling the manure, and seeing all of the horses. I stopped at Chance’s pen, he had his blanket off and looked at me for a long time, while I looked at him, letting him know, in my heart, that I miss him . Then I went to see Arrow, the little filly who was born almost two weeks ago. She also watched me for awhile, chewing on her mama’s tail. Next, it was on to Bear and the babies (my mini, Bear, lives with four yearlings, whom I affectionately call “the babies”). They were all quite happy to see me, and wanted lots of pets and scratches and nuzzles. Lastly, I spent some time at Ruby’s pen. We looked at each other for a long time too, and I told her that I love her and miss her. She came over and put her head in my hands. So much has changed in my life in the past three weeks, and yet, when I go to the horses, I know that everything is all right, that we will get through this together.

Bear

Bear is one of my equine co-therapists, and a favorite of several of my clients (as well as quite a few people at the barn). He is small (29 inches to be exact), funny, sassy, and always up for an adventure. Before attending the equine therapy training at Healing Hooves, and meeting Sue McIntosh’s minis, Teddy and Oliver, I never really understood minis or why people owned them. But when I met T & O, I got it. They are real characters and wonderful partners in equine therapy. Because of their size, they are great for people who may not feel as comfortable with “regular” size horses (although you have to be confident enough to know how to handle a mini because they definitely have minds of their own!). Bear also happens to be great with kids, especially those kids who are similar to him in personality, i.e. full of energy and mischief :) Besides his personality, one of the things that I love about Bear is his adaptability—he seems to fit in with almost all other horses. Right now, he lives with four weanlings and he is their fearless leader, showing them how to “horse” and have manners. Before the weanlings, he lived in a pen with a handful of other larger horses, including one who wasn’t too fond of him. Bear will never start a fight, if another horse doesn’t like him, he will move/run away. If a horse is scared of him—which some of them at the barn definitely are—he approaches them slowly, with a sniff and an outstretched muzzle. Bear is just an all-around cool little guy.

Chance

Chance is one of my equine co-therapists. He is an 18-year old paint gelding who has done a little bit of everything in the past (such as jumping, polo-cross, and riding lessons), and now he cannot be ridden anymore because of arthritis in one of his front legs. I started getting to know him last August when his owner introduced me to him. The more time that I spend with Chance, the more I love him. He is one of the sweetest horses that I have ever met. He is also calm and happy to be with people and go along with anything that is asked of him. He is funny—after he eats his “snack”, he will enthusiastically lick the nearest person to show his gratitude. Chance may not be able to continue as a riding horse, but he has so much more to offer. When I see how my clients feel accepted, safe, and cared for by Chance, I feel so grateful for the opportunity to know him and to work with him.

Slowing Down

One of the many gifts that horses and other animals have given me is to help me slow down. I have spent much of my life going fast, trying to do as much as I can, in as short a period of time as possible, thinking ahead to what’s next, making my lists and completing them. A lot of this rushing comes from anxiety, from trying to control things so that bad things don’t happen. The rest comes from trying to do everything “right”. Slowing down, doing less, being more, are hard for me.

For me, being with horses and in nature are parts of my life where I can go slower. I try to savor the time at the barn, doing simple things like brushing and grooming the horses, cleaning and sweeping the stalls and barn, chatting with the other people who are there with their horses. Or when I go out to the big pasture at the barn, or the ravine by my house, I try to use my senses to look at the trees, the sky, the earth; to smell the freshness of the air; to hear the sounds of birds, squirrels, rustling leaves, or just the stillness. And then I start to feel calmer and more at peace.

At times, my life naturally becomes busier and I become faster and more rushed once again. That is when the horses help me remember to go slower, to breathe, to be in the present moment. When I forget, they remind me in their own ways. They can tell right away that I am somewhere else, that my energy is not with them. Recently, I have been trying to go slower from the moment I get to the barn: to walk out to the pen slowly; to walk in arcs towards the horses, rather than straight lines; to spend a few moments connecting with my horse before haltering; to halter and lead more mindfully. It helps me and it helps my horse. We are both calmer and more present. I also try to take this same energy in to the rest of my life, where often my other animals remind me—my cats by curling up in to my lap so that I can’t move for awhile, and my dog by showing me the joy of running and playing. Slowing down is my journey and I am deeply grateful for all of my teachers.

What helps me to slow down: 

Being aware, then I can make a conscious choice to be here, rather than somewhere else

Using my five senses to orient myself to the here and now

To remember that thinking is also a way to perceive and to remember to let it go sometimes

Nature and animals are gifts that can help me slow down if I let them

Noticing and connecting with my physical body, through movement and mindfulness

Play, true play which is spontaneous and fun and without purpose

Being with Horses

This past summer, I began my journey to learn about, and become certified in, Equine-Facilitated Wellness (see also www.healinghooves.ca and www.equinefacilitatedwellness.org). I have loved horses since adolescence, when I took a horseback riding class through my junior high school. I still remember the big, beautiful, black horse whom I rode, his name was Christopher Robin. After the class finished, I wanted to continue riding, however, my family did not have the means to support my new-found passion. Fast forward many years to adulthood, and I was finally able to return to riding for several years before I had my children, when my horse time was put on hold again. Then three and a half years ago, I lost three very important women in my life within a short period of time. These losses had a significant impact on me and while I took some time away from my psychology practice, I returned, once again, to the horses. Quite simply, these amazing animals helped me to heal, and, I believe, saved me. Their presence, physicality, being-in-the-moment, and unconditional love and caring are qualities that I want to share with my clients, to help their healing.

Understanding Hakomi

The Hakomi Method of Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy was first created in the late 1970’s by the internationally renowned therapist and author, Ron Kurtz. In 1981, to fully develop the method and promote the teaching of Hakomi, Ron and a core group of therapists and educators founded the Hakomi Institute. Today, Hakomi Trainings and workshops are presented throughout the world, in North America, Europe, Japan, Latin America, Australia and New Zealand.

Touch is a signal that I understand and that I'm present. Touch is essential.

- Ron Kurtz

Integrating scientific, psychological, and spiritual sources, Hakomi has evolved into a complex and elegant form of psychotherapy that is highly effective with a wide range of populations. The method draws from general systems theory and modern body-centered therapies including Gestalt, Psychomotor, Feldenkrais, Focusing, Ericksonian Hypnosis, Neurolinguistic Programming, and the work of Wilhelm Reich and Alexander Lowen. Core concepts of gentleness, nonviolence, compassion, and mindfulness evolved from Buddhism and Taoism.

At its most basic level, Hakomi is the therapeutic expression of a specific set of Principles: Mindfulness, Nonviolence, Unity, Organicity and Mind-Body Integration; these tenets inform every aspect of the work. The first concern of Hakomi Trainings is that our students embody these Principles as a deep and consistent part of who they are and how they work. This means a heartfelt, long-term commitment to their own growth, both personal and professional. Our goal is to foster high quality, caring therapists who are as dedicated to their own self-awareness as they are to the understanding of others. We further support students in discovering their own style, creativity and unique application of the Hakomi Method.